LAX to Fiji

It's 11am. In exactly 12 hours I will board a plane, cross the international date line and travel 12 hours to Fiji. This is so surreal. All week people have been asking questions about Fiji and how I feel and honestly it was so hard to answer them because I still have not processed that I am leaving! I'm nervous and scared. I am sad and heartbroken. But I am excited and full of anticipation. There are so many emotions I am not sure which to process. But my bags are packed. 49 pounds of clothes and other necessities ready to go. I do not know what to expect or the adventures I will have but I am taking the leap and knowing it will be incredible. Here's to not letting fear hold you back! Here's to living life to the fullest! 

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Left My Heart in Lincoln

Weekend number 6 together and the last for 6 weeks... 

Rick flew home from MN Thursday night so Thursday after school I got in my car and started the long drive to Sacramento. 6 hours later with a sore bottom and half of divergent listened too I got close. Decided to pick up some groceries since he had been out of town for awhile and then finished the journey to his house. Waiting for his arrival at 12:30am was killer but running into those arms again... 

Friday we went to see the movie xmen! Then we walked around the Fountains shopping center where they were having an outdoor event. There were booths and a small car show. We were able to find me some of those hideous strap on sandals to take to Fiji. Oh the tan lines I am going to have... Oh! We saw the cutest giant fluffy dog! He had hairy feet.  Then we ate at Noodles and Co which I always have with Sarah in IL and was excited to see they have it here. :)

Saturday we went to the sacramento zoo but it was boiling hot. We saw these dinosaur birds and one kept pacing the fence with a mouse in his mouth. He tried to feed it to the girl dinosaur but she wasn't having that. We saw rats everywhere in a few of the bird cages, that was disturbing. Then we went home and made dinner and cookies yum. Oh! And got some ice cream from the Trader Joes. We watched a creepy movie which is still giving me nightmares. 

Sunday sucked. 

Saying goodbye is never easy. Saying goodbye in a confusing relationship is worse. 

Rick and I have been dating now for 8 weeks. We've only actually seen eachother for 6 short weekends. For most people this is very new but for us it feels like forever. It's crazy. So now having to say goodbye for the length of time we've known eachother is hard. That is assuming I can change my flight at a decent cost.... Otherwise it's 10 weeks... 

The real kicker... Found out that the leave date for Lithuania is my return date for Fiji... We thought we would have a couple weeks and looks like it could be less than a day. That won't work logically. 

But we will find a way. 

Okay so Sunday stank. It did. Have you ever watched someone you care about cry? Then you know how it feels. Saying goodbye and that you will see how things go... Knowing there is a possibility it won't go but also a possibility that it will is unsettling. 

Tears. 

Lots of tears.

When his tears came mine multiplied. 

Anyway the future is uncertain we never know what is going to happen. I'm going to live in the present with goals and hopes for the future. My dreams go on even though my heart hurts. 

Here's to hope...

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